Substance Between the Posts


noun  sub·stance   ˈsəb-stən(t)s 

practical importance 

I want to put forth myself into the world and provide something of value rather than incomplete posts on my feed. A picture is worth a thousand words but to read a point of view that hasn’t yet been expressed is priceless. What makes this so unusual for me is me. I’ve been quiet and reclusive most of my life with only a few people on intimate levels knowing a portion of the things that make me tick. I’ve missed opportunities to speak my mind freely because I was too scared of how it would make the opposing person feel. In turn causing me to feel little, weak and regretful. I’ve ruined relationships because I gave too much or too little of myself. And very often I leave conversations with people I’ve known for years feeling that I have no idea who I’m really talking to or that they have no idea who they were just really talking to.

Since I was younger I’ve had feelings of very low self-worth, and the many other emotions attached. For years I managed to keep everything that truly weighted me down hidden, not a single person knowing how I really felt about my life; how hopeless I was. Ending relationships and avoiding conversations at all costs in an effort to not counteract my sorrow. Feeling unworthy of anyone’s love, friendship or kindness because what could I possibly offer them.

Not until recently have I become conscious of my own character; positive traits, old bad habits, my purpose and my gifts. In recent years I’ve been able to accept my faults and mistakes to work towards bettering myself.

In this form of becoming vulnerable and open, I’m able to go in depth and feel unabashed about..well..Me. Since I was 9 years old I wished I had the courage to express myself and the ability to love myself that I have now found at the age of 26. So welcome to my blog!

loving yourself

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