Saved Draft from July 21, 2018 12:32 a.m.
I started off strong, yet it’s been one month since I’ve been able to put ‘pen to paper’ and conjure up a decent full length post. I owe this to an ailing computer, the shortage of spare time to quietly sit still, time spent with family and largely, to disconnecting.
When I first thought about writing I was at the point in my life where I could quite possibly scream from the roof tops how unhappy I felt in love and life. I crossed the threshold of holding in everything that saddened or angered me to putting it all out into the universe to see what will be refunded to me. I felt just about at my wits end in my marriage, unsatisfied with other relationships, and willing to do what I could to feel..free. Everything I felt unbeknownst to the world because it is so easy to hide behind a mask and put on facade whenever I had to be around anyone.
As soon as I started writing, my words began flowing like water as they were so eager to escape. I poured out what I could, though with some details to spare, until I felt the calm. I felt a sense of normalcy as I finally had space within to breathe and be. My next trick was to detach. Since releasing the emotions that held me down, I needed to release myself from each person, place or thing that did the same. The ones that inhibited senses of joy, relaxation or belonging. Limiting contact in any way possible because the unpleasant feelings associated were limiting my sense of peace.
One of my favorites motto’s is ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ It can be easy to put aside things you don’t want your focus to be on by simply avoiding them. What’s difficult is mastering ways to forgive and forget. No, you don’t have to speak to whom ever has wronged you again or necessarily express your discontent with them, but what you need to do is remove the negativity from within and let it go into the universe. Make peace with who that person is or how a situation has turned out, accept that everything is the way it’s meant to be and make the changes for change in your life.